High Tea; without the tea

Everything has an expiry date; bread, gift cards and sex.

However to all points made there is a flipside and in this case the Daily red has overlooked that there is one sport, a staple in Victorian backyards and sporting fields that remains ageless, but ever so cringe worthy.

Ah, yes suburban Aussie rules, going to the footy with an entrance fee per car not per person or as the price increases, per body part.

You know when spring has sprung not from your noisy neighbours who seem to be spring cleaning by "hosing the old garage out", if you know what I mean, but rather it is from the conclusion of Aussie rules in the suburbs.

As the Daily Red went on location for this piece, I found myself surrounded by bum showing (that would even make Plumbers blush) and makeup wearing females of the trashy kind. There was not one, not two but a whole gaggle of them talking in a slang that makes Shakespearean seem as easy as 1, 2, 3.

But I digress.

As I make my way around the oval, there are kids and obliging parents on the field with balls in tow, kicking them through the goals, or at the very least trying to. Around the oval stands a guard of cars, heck it’s a convoy that will applaud each goal with a toot of a horn.

Where for the commercial lass a diamond or Chanel is coveted, for the suburban footy followers, this is a car spot and rightly so, finding a spot is about as hard as finding Wally at a Where’s Wally Party.

I get there, the car is parked in the goal-square, it’s not hard to see why this place was free, well I soon realise when the game gets under way and part of the fun begins to be ducking from a flying ball and considering insurance claims.

After a day of watching football, something most will vouch is a rare activity, it was an experience, in that  this sport, the suburbia game is more than that, it is a meeting place for the lasses and lads, for family and friends and the vibe is informal.

Back in the day, there would have been a high tea to meet people, so just think of suburban football as high tea, without the tea and fancy dresses.